Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
