Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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