Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
