How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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