I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
