i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
