she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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