All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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