Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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