he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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