Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
