you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think your dad took our porno
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
