we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I will pee on everything he values.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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