My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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