i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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