plz talk dirty to me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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