He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
