so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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