I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
In America we eat man semen.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
