used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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