am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
