Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
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My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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