Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
