Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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