Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
tell me about the fingering
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
