I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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