Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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