so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
