dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
