sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
