Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
