69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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