That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she peed on how many people?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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