I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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