wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
