did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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