You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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