I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
