to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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