we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
