Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
