Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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