My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pants are for mortals
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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