i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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