Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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