It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
