last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
