So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My brain says no but my pants say off.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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