He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
