return my video game
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
