I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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