I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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