It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
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At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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