He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
