I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
