Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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