Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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