Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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