i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
